I always give nicknames to players and some of them are a bit weird but that’s how I work. NSN means natural Swedish nickname.

Real Madrid Players (plus Canteras)

• Marcelo: Captain Fab Fro, it used to be just Fab Fro but after the Espanyol game when Marcelo was amazing and the captain I felt I needed to add that to his nickname. Fab Fro is of course short for fabulous afro.
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• Nuri Sahin: Nurre (NSN)
• Sergio Ramos: 99% of the time I call him Ramos but a few times I call him Captain Butterfingers for obvious reasons (not my gif)
  
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• Raúl Albiol: Nini after the Christmas bloopers vid. I never call him just Raúl because that name belongs to someone else and is sacred to me. Nini can also be called Gatinho
  
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• Kaká: Kaka means cookie in Swedish so I call him Cookie at times
• Mesut Özil: Özzi but I have also called him, Mözzi (sounds a little like the Swedish word for a knitted hat which makes it really cute), I also call him Turkish Delight
• Raphaël Varane: Raffe (NSN), but Varan is the Swedish name for a Komodo dragon so that might be something to play with in the future
• Hamit Altintop: I keep forgetting his name so I call him Hamlet
• Alvaro Arbeloa: Arbi or if I’m really lazy RB
• Fábio Coentrão: Ori, which is short for Ouriço which is the Portuguese word for hedgehog
• Fernando Hierro: Iron Man, because he is and because Hierro means iron in Spanish
• Luis Figo: Simbad, because I thought he looked like a pirate when I was little
• Jose Mourinho: Big Daddy
• Alvaro Morata: Mora, Mora Nisse, Nisse (NSN)
• Alex Fernández: Baby Ginger Genius, or short Ginny
• Josélu: Lulu because it’s funnier that way
• Dani Carvajal: Carver, just because it’s easier… and we could say that the carves though the defense at times too
  
• The Madrid Bus: Not a player but I like our bus and he takes a lot of beatings so he has earned a name and it’s Buskás, named after Madrid legend Ferenc Puskás (Pam and I figured this name out)
  

Manchester United players

• David de Gea: Llama, anything with llama is David for me. Update: I may call him the Spanish Cat, Eric Steele said it (Uniteds goalkeeping coach)
  
• (pic found here)
  
• Chris Smalling: Swagman because of all his swag, not to be confused with the Australian version of the name
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• Antonio Valencia: Valle, (NSN)
• Paul Scholes: Ginger Genius
  

Brazilian NT

• Thiago Silva: For some reason he starts fucking up or getting hurt when I talk about him during a game so I call him VSQ which is short for Você-Sabe-Quem (You-Know-Who)
  
• David Luiz: Sidshow Bob at times. Updating him to Dalu, it’s because I’m lazy… so much easier to write Dalu than anything else
  
• Dani Alves: Dani the Diver, used to call him Meep Meep after the character Road Runner due to his dashes but…
• Neymar: Ney Ney, sounds just like the Swedish word for no and I say that when he falls way too easily

Other Players

• Gabriel Obertan: Obi
• Iker Muniain: I’m lazy so I call him Muni